8 Weeks & Counting

I feel like all I ever talk about or write about these days is my pregnancy! It's been all consuming!
I have about 4 weeks left of my 1st trimester and I'm hoping that all of this awful sickness will be gone by then!!! Let's hope!

Today may have just been the worst day yet?! Hunger pangs, nausea, sensitivity to smells, food adversity.
You never know how you're going to feel from one moment to the next, what you'll be able to eat and keep down or not.... it's tough! It's amazing to me how quickly I forgot how awful this was! I was just here with Jack about 2 1/2 years ago. And it never let up with him, ever. For 8 months! I'm so glad this is my last pregnancy! I wish I could just skip all this and have a baby!

I have a high pain threshold, but I'm impatient! I really don't have the patience for this ongoing sickness... I just feel so bad for my kids! I've been feeding them whatever I will have to smell the least to prepare, which means a lot of processed foods! Uncrustables, Cereal, frozen microwavable meals... it's bad... but they are in heaven with it! Oh well...

God I hope this passes soon! I feel like such a whimpy whinner, and so lazy and unproductive!! :(
I know it will all be worth it in the end, but right now... it's tough to stomach, literally!

My first dr. apt. is in 5 days. I'm anxious to hear the heartbeat! I think It'll all be much more real to me then! I'll feel some relief I think, when I know everything is okay.

I worry too, about how the dynamics in the home will change with 3. I guess it's a little late to be worrying about that now, but I hope Jack doesn't feel to jealous or resentful. I hope that it's not too much chaos. It's so important to me that it's harmonious in the home, and I'm nervous a little bit about being outnumbered by our kids... but even with our hesitations... Jeff and I both agree that our family just does not feel complete yet. We believe that it will feel complete with the birth of our 3rd child.
Sort of like we are following a pre-destined course for our future and it's almost out of our control or something!?
I don't know.