Sub Zero Temps.....Burrrrrrr.....

Blowing Snow/Windy
-2°
Windchill of Negative 30 Degrees (-30°)
Sever Winter Warning:
Keep all pets and children indoors

This is what I woke up to this morning....negative 2 degrees!!
With a windchill factor of 30 below 0!! Are you kidding me!?

Once it's negative temps do we really even need a number?!
It's just freaking COLD!!!

And I know we're in the windy city and all...but seriously!? What's with the wind!?
Last night, I could have sworn I heard a witch cackling "I'll get you my pretty..." as my house prepared to lift and spin into the air!!

It was that kind of wind...where even your house shudders!
I wondered if the basement might be safer...since we have a wall of windows in our bedroom!
As I laid in bed, I imagined all the glass shattering inward at us!
They didn't! (thank Goodness!) I guess they don't call them "Weather Shield" windows for noth'n!?

All I know, is this California Girl is a LONG way from home!!

My Dad, (who is still living in California) calls to tell me how cold it is.
I ask, "what's cold, Dad?"
his reply..."oh, about 40."

40 degrees....!?!? Are you serious!? "Dad! That's a park day for us!" I joke back, wishing I was kidding!!

Then he'll proceed to tell me all about the house prices there, and how we can NOW afford to live there! Too bad we can't afford to sell the house we're in now! :(

I'm homesick. Really homesick.

Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's the holidays. Maybe it's the fact that I'm lucky if I get to see part of my family at least once a year. Maybe it's because my kids are growing up way too fast and our families are missing it....and they are missing their families!
Maybe I'm homesick for a time and a place that doesn't even exist anymore!?

Whatever the reason...I'm waiting and wondering if I will ever feel at home again...anywhere?!

They say "home will be where the heart is. Never were words so true.
My heart's far...far away...home is too. "

That's actually a quote from the song Home, from the Broadway version of Beauty and the Beast. It was also, appropriately enough...one of my first assignment songs at AMDA upon arriving to New York.

Don't get me wrong. My heart and home are now with my husband...and my boys...but I guess it's still new enough for me that it doesn't have that same comfy, worn in feel...like your favorite, old pair of jeans.

Really, I'm still trying to find my role as "Mother" and "Wife" on a daily basis.
Learning as I go...creating our own traditions and memories.
I'm sure it will all be so much more precious to me in the future when I'm looking back on it! And I hate that! I wish I could feel that same depth of emotion now. For the life I'm living now!

Blogging has certainly helped me with that! Appreciating and enjoying my life in the present!
Reflecting and blogging forces me to sit, think and write what is on my mind or in my life!
It also allows me to view my life differently as it's happening. I notice I am viewing everything almost from an outside perspective rather than being wrapped up in it, obsessing over trivial things that really don't matter!
For instance, now...when Jack proceeds to dump the entire basket of clean laundry I just folded...while I'm folding it...where I once would have blown up in frustration...I can now smile, or even laugh and think...kids will be kids! He's only 1 year old, and it's what he's supposed to be doing...learning his environment and what happens when... and, it makes great material for a blog entry...or a great story for later! :)

SOooo, this blog is getting long! What started as a quick weather report has turned into a, well....whatever it is!? But now that my head is clear...I can go tackle the dishes!
(next to a space heater!) ;) of course!

Here Comes Santa Claus

Ok, so I admit... I was a little...ok a lot, reluctant to pitch the whole Santa Claus story (lie) to my kids! I had a really hard time with it...and still kind of do...but, since AJ already believes in him...(thank you society and Noggin Cartoons) ...I guess it's just easier to go with it! :)
Ok...and I confess...it's FUN too...there, I said it.

Last night, we bundled up the boys, made some Hot Cocoa...and went to see Santa.


AJ was SO excited!!!






Jack...not so much.





But, he enjoyed the cocoa and getting out of the house...since the storm has had us holed up all week!!

After we saw Santa, we sipped our cocoa while we drove around and looked at Christmas lights!
It was beautiful, peaceful...it was one of those moments that you pictured before you had kids, that made you want to have a family...one of those moments where everything feels perfect!!
Do you know what I mean?
They don't happen as often as I'd like ...but when they happen, it makes it all worth while!!

From the back, I could hear Austin saying "Wow, ooohhh, pretty....look at that one! So beautiful!"
It's hard to believe he's now old enough to get it! All of it! And really enjoy it!

I thought to myself, 'this isn't so bad... we may have just started a tradition!?
Cocoa, Santa and lights! I like it!'

While we were visiting Santa...Austin asked him for 4 things he hadn't ever asked me for!
(of course!)
He asked for a Little Einsteins Rocketship Toy, a Red Race Car, and a Helicopter...oh, and a lollipop! So guess what mom (Santa) was doing at midnight last night!?
Running around trying to find his wish list for Santa!!

I managed to find all of it with out breaking the bank! I thought I was done with my Christmas shopping...but I couldn't let him think Santa stiffed him!
It was his first time ever going to see Santa!

Warmed by the 'picture perfect' evening we shared and in the spirit of St. Nicholas...I even typed up a letter from Santa to Austin, (we'll read it to him Christmas morning) and this is what it says:

Dear Austin,

Thank you so much for coming to visit me while I was in your town!! It was so nice to meet you and finally put a face with a name!

I hope you enjoy the Helicopter, Little Einsteins Rocketship toy, Red Race Car, and the Lollipop that you asked for!

You were a very good boy this year! I was watching… and I am very proud of you! You are such a good helper to your Mom and Dad, and you are a wonderful Big Brother!!

Good job on the potty training too, buddy!

Keep up the Good Work!

Much love from the North Pole… your pal,

Santa Claus

P.S. Thanks for the yummy cookies!!! I shared them with the reindeer!

I know, I know...you're scratching your head wondering how the scrooge goes from not wanting to tell her kids about Santa at all to writing letters on his behalf!?!
I don't know either... I guess it was the light in Austin's eyes and the excitment in his voice!?
He has the rest of his life to be realistic...why burst his bubble now?!
Besides...what's the harm in believing?! Right?!

Tis' the Season!!

Tis the season for snuggling, bundling...playing in the snow!
For Christmas Carols and Christmas Cookies....and wrapping with a bow!
For twinkly lights and starry nights... and little faces all a glow!
It's Christmas time. It's Christmas,... and this is how I know:

I'm NOT Damaged!!

For some reason, unbeknown to me... my mom believed I was brain damaged in my left temporal lobe! I have been under the belief that this was the case for most of my life.
Concerned recently with the degree and frequency of the headaches I have been getting
(every day, migraine material) ...I finally sought out advice from my Doctor.
She ordered an MRI of the brain, which I had done early Friday Morning.

Monday, I anxiously awaited the results! Terrified to receive the bad news...brain damage, brain tumor...!? I was preparing for the worst and hoping for the best! We all know about the benign tumor we found last year in my thyroid, perhaps I'm bound to be lumpy...I thought!? The anticipation was killing me!!
I called them, ...twice.
Both times I was told that the doctor would return my call before the end of the day.
It didn't happen....office was closed, and I still had not received my call.

I debated what to do....drank a beer, and then called again....this time paging the doctor!!
My message went something like this:

I realize that by your terms this may not be considered a medical emergency...but it feels like one to me! I was told I would receive a call back before the end of the work day, it did not happen. I would like to get some sleep tonight and I am afraid that will not be possible if you do not call me back, now!! Please, .... just call me back!

A whopping 45 minutes later, I got the call.

"You're Fiiiiiiiiiiine!!" She said in a long whining sound, as if she couldn't imagine why I had ever thought I wouldn't be!?

"There's no brain damage ...in my left temporal lobe...none?!?!" I asked, still not convinced!

"No, nothing." She reassured me. "The only thing you have, that I think is the cause of your frequent headaches is Chronic Sinusitis and nasal/sinus polyps. It's very common" She said.

Silence. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it...I'm okay!! What a relief!!

"Ok! Great!" I said, "So what do I do about the Chronic, ...what is it again?!"

"Nothing." She said, "you'll probably always have it. You can have surgery to have the polyps removed, but nine times out of ten, they return. Try nasal irrigation, flushing out your nose and sinuses with saline (salt water) once a day."

"ok."

And that was it! I promptly irrigated my nose and sinuses....and immediately felt relief! The pressure in my head and swelling in my face....gone! I could breath, ...deeply, with out making noise! I had more energy! I could sing, with out sounding like one of the three chipmunks! Fantastic!! It's been almost a week, and I haven't had to take anything...I haven't had one headache!! I can't believe I waited so long to figure out what the heck was going on!!
I could have felt better years ago, dang it!
Just glad I do feel better now!
AND, even more relieved that I'm NOT damaged...and I don't have any brain tumors!! YAY!!

I did have a bad dream last night that they called me to tell me they had mixed up my test results with someone else's, and I really was dying tomorrow...
as you can imagine, I was most relieved to wake and find it was only a bad dream.
I suppose it will take my subconscious a while longer to really let it sink in.
I'm okay. I'm not dying...yet!!! Ha ha! Thank God!!
Guess you're all stuck with me for a while longer!

A Year At A Glance

Isn't that what they call those tiny calendars on postcards...with the days so small you can barely see them!?

Today, I sat in reflection over the past year. I was attempting to write our 2008 Christmas letter which I insert every year with our photo card. The purpose is to catch the family and friends up on what we did for the year....only, I couldn't think of anything!?
I know that so much happened!?!
It's disturbing to me that my memory of the days gone by...is as small as the numbers on the 'At A Glance!' As if the days are so small and insignificant!?

But that's not how I feel!! If anything, I feel the extreme opposite! Like the days are SO precious!! So few that I have left before my kids are off to school and on their way in the world! And yet, when reflecting on the past 365 days I'm left with only a blank page!?!? How can this be!?

Finally, something...our vacations. Yes, they were fun....oh, and so and so's wedding, that was beautiful! OH, and so and so's baby was born...precious....and Jack turned one and Austin turned three! These are big things!
Why is it that is all I can remember! There were so many milestones reached, fun stories, memories made....trouble is ...I can't remember them!?!? How long would it take me to forget these, had I not written them down tonight!?

"Why didn't I start blogging sooner?!" I asked myself. Then I could have just gone back and reviewed what I wrote!

It's such a fine line isn't it!? Balancing life. Being careful to document the past and learn from it, with out living in it!
All the while, planning for the future...but not banking on it!
AND, remembering to live in the moment...being ever present in that which is happening around you, here and now!!

If anyone has figured this one out, please tell me how!?

It reminds me of my favorite song from the musical Rent:

Season's of Love

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love.
Seasons of love.

Weekends Go By Way Too Fast!!

It's Sunday evening and the weekend is coming to a close.

Jeff was home this weekend, Friday, Saturday AND Sunday!
As most of you know, that NEVER happens! He negotiated something with his boss, so that he could be home for the weekend. It was so nice! Friday we cleaned house ran some errands...pretty laid back. Saturday we hired a sitter and went out for dinner!
It was a nice time, with the exception of a very bad headache I can't seem to get rid of! Then today we had our friends over for a football party...always a great time to be with our friends!
They say 'friends are the family you choose' and I can certainly testify to that! We have found some of the best friends and they have truly become our family away from family, our home away from home! Thank God for good friends!

Jeff will be working Thanksgiving for the first time ever...which stinks!
But our friends are adopting the boys and I into their family for the day, so sweet of them! This will be the second year we will spend Thanksgiving with out Jeff, since Jeff went home to Vegas last year. Poor Jack has yet to have a Thanksgiving with his Daddy! So sad!
But, things could always be worse...at least he'll be home in the evening. He could be overseas like so many of our service men and women! He could be with out a job at all!! So, we try to remain positive and grateful for what we DO have!! That is after all, what Thanksgiving is all about, right!?

Here's a funny tidbit to close with:
This morning, after our showers...I was cleaning out the boys ears...and as I was cleaning Austin's ears, Jeff walked by and said "whatcha got growing in their, potatoes?!" I could see Austin thinking about it, and then he looked up at me...so serious like and said, "Mom, I think I have some carrotts in there,.....or maybe some mushrooms!" He seemed awfully concerned! HA, ha! I couldn't stop laughing!

Is It Spring Yet!?

Winter has just begun and I feel like the little kid in the back of the car that screams, "are we there yet?! How about now!?" I am dying for Spring and it literally JUST turned cold!! It's going to be a VERY long winter!

Cabin Fever seems to have arrived early this year! The boys and I are already climbing the walls! Tonight, I took them to Toys R Us just to let them play in a warm environment....some place other than our living room or basement!

They had a blast! It reminded me of the scene from the movie BIG where they're running all over the toy store, right before the solo of 'Heart and Soul' on the huge floor piano!? Anyhow, they went nuts! THEN.....
It was time to go home! HOLY Cow! What a fiasco!
What I detest more than anything about winter....is the time it takes to get all the coats, hats and gloves...on and off, between your destination and the car! GRRRRrrrr..... :)
What feels like an eternity later, the kids are finally buckled in and we are ready to go! We live about a mile from Toys R Us, so the heater barely warmed up and we were home...such a production!

The temperature according to my dashboard was 26 degrees!! EEEEEeeek! :/
BURRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...................

Family back in Vegas and California, I know you are laughing your tails off right now...and wishing I could hear your "I told you so's" trust me, I get it now!!
Never miss home more than in the winter time! Not to mention, it's when all the big holidays are!!

Today, Austin asked me where Santa Claus lives.

I'm sure this seems like a reasonable question to most people...but it caught me by surprise since we have never discussed Santa Claus before. He's only 3...so this will really be the first year he'll even really understand presents! I had no idea he even knew the words 'Santa Claus!'

I've always been on the fence about Santa. I mean, technically it's a lie, and sort of hypocritical to teach our children not to lie...then turn around and tell one right after the other...Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy...I have a hard time with it.
I much prefer the explanation my Grandma offered me as a child, when I asked her if Santa was real.

She said, Yes....there was once a St. Nicholas, and every year...on Jesus's Birthday he would go around delivering gifts to people.... he would leave them on their doorsteps. We honor his memory with Santa Claus....which has obviously been blown way out of proportion to the original Saint!
Chimneys, flying reindeer...c'mon! Do we think our kids are dummies!?
Half the time they only pretend to believe so they don't let their parents down, and they wouldn't want to risk losing their presents, of course! :)

I don't know!
I would hate to be the one who has the kid, that ruins it for all the rest...so I suppose I'll jump off the bridge too!?!

"the North Pole, Sweetie!" .....I told him.

More Great Photos

This may be overkill on the pictures, since I already sent a proof link and then a Shutterfly link, but just in case some of you had trouble viewing them, I thought this might be easier!? These are just some of my favorites! I own the copyright, so if you would like prints...just let me know which ones you want and in what size and I'll get them to you!! You can comment below this post, or email...either way!
Thanks,
Love you!
~Mel

The Very First Entry

Hello there Family & Friends,

Welcome to the new Sugden Family Blog. Feel free to bookmark us or put this page in your favorites...so you can check back often for updates! I figured with most of our family out West, this would be the ideal way to keep everyone informed on the latest! I can even post pictures! I hope you enjoy it! Feel free to post comments below the blogs... hope you're all doing well!

We love you and miss you all!!

Love,
Mel, Jeff, A.J. & Jack Sugden